So who is Tottie Limejuice?

Everyone always wants to know where I got the name Tottie Limejuice, the pen-name under which I wrote Sell the Pig and which I also use for my Facebook and Twitter names.

Well she's an invention of my late Auntie Ethel, mother's older sister. She was the one who never married, whose role was helping her mother with the large brood. Auntie had a wonderful way of making up words and phrases, like a floper-dopperer, for someone who was a bit foppish, or kneely-knawling down, for when you kneel but also have to scrabble about a bit. Auntie was a dress-maker, seamstress and milliner so when she was pinning up hems, she had to do a lot of kneely-knawling.

Mother with her family. From left to right: younger sister Doris, younger brother John, brother in law Leslie, (the Judge, Doris's husband), mother, and older sister Ethel.

As Auntie got older she got very confused and would accuse glamorous and well-off younger sister of coming to her house and stealing her home-made knickers and swanning around "like Tottie Limejuice". I liked the name so much, I claimed it for my own.

At one of Doris's many luncheon parties at the "Big House": Left to right: Auntie Ethel, Uncle Leslie, Auntie Doris, Uncle John, Mother.




It was Auntie Ethel who encouraged me to buy my grottage in Lincolnshire when it was in such an awful state the surveyor I got to check it over for mortgage purposes described it as "unfit for human habitation!".  She was a frequent visitor, with mother, to my homes wherever I lived, including travelling by coach out to Germany where I lived for four years.


Like mother, she was always interested in gardening so whenever they visited, we always took a trip to a local garden centre or park.

               Mother with her older sister Ethel, the creator of "Tottie Limejuice"

Sell the Pig - coming soon in paperback!

It's beginning to look a lot like a paperback!

Latest estimate is that Sell the Pig should be out as a real, hold it in your hand paperback book by mid January 2013. It has a brand new cover picture, which I hope you will all like, and there are some  images inside (black and white in this first edition) so you should finally be able to put names to faces.

I do hope you will like this new version, it has some minor changes from the Kindle version. Perhaps if you enjoyed reading it on Kindle, you might be kind enough to suggest the paperback to your friends.

Here's a quick sneak peek at what the new cover looks like:

and yes, for those of you who magnify it enough to read, I know there's a typo there, it will be picked up on the next round :)

I'll keep you all posted here, on Twitter and on Facebook, the Dark Side, when I get final confirmation of the release date.

Another review of Sell the Pig from Goodreads

When it comes to all things t'internet, I'm a bit slow on the uptake, as you'll have gathered if you've either read Sell the Pig or followed any of my witterings on either Twitter or Facebook. Which is why I've only just discovered that there are some more reviews for Sell the Pig on the Goodreads site, including one which I hadn't yet seen myself.

So for anyone who doesn't have access for that site and who might be interested, I'll post it here. It's a kind 3-star review from Clair whom I don't know, I don't think, but who, like me, made the move from Lincolnshire to France. Clair says:

This is the story of a lady who makes the move from rural Lincolnshire - like myself - to rural France - like myself. Though the similarities between us end there. 
Whereas I came over here as a fresh-faced 22 year-old dragging a couple of suitcases along on a Eurolines coach, Tottie makes the move much later on in life, together with her 90-year old mother, who suffers from vascular dementia, and her brother and his depressed dipsomania. Oh, and we mustn't forget Meic, her epileptic dog. All of them, with a nurse and carer accompanying them for the trip, in a motorhome and an old van.
It's a very touching read that takes us back to Tottie's childhood and around the UK and France, as we learn about her family and her later quest for a new home, somewhere to live her dream and let her mother enjoy one final adventure. Tottie's style is open and honest, raising a smile here and touching a nerve there. 
I have to admit I was a little bit disappointed not to learn more about their actual life in France - this book is really about the search for their new home and how they make their move, but I guess that means that the adventures they experienced once settled in the Auvergne are all to come. Now I've followed them this far on their journey, I do hope that their is a future episode and we get to find out how it all worked out for them.


Thanks for the review, Clair, really appreciate you taking the time to write it, as one Yellowbelly to another, albeit adoptive, one.

Book reviews - have your say about Sell the Pig

I know it can be a real grunt writing reviews on Amazon. I've had some really lovely kind ones for Sell the Pig there myself and I'd really love to reply to them there but incredibly, although I've bought things from the site under my pen name, it won't let me post replies.

It's probably because I haven't bought Sell the Pig from there. I gladly would buy my own book, just so I could personally thank everyone who's taken the time and trouble. But although I have an account (several, in fact) and have downloaded a Kindle app, I somehow can't get Amazon to see the right Kindle for the right account. It's almost certainly my fault because I'm a muppet, but I still haven't found out how to overcome the problem.

So I thought it might be a nice idea to reproduce the reviews here on the blog and invite people to add their comments. It's a much friendlier forum here so if you're a bit shy, this is a great place to have your say. And don't forget, I really need your feedback so I can start working on the first of the sequels or prequels or whatever they turn out to be.

I did mention in Sell the Pig that I had a working title of Biff the Useless Mention, which is still a possibility, although at the moment I'm leaning towards Is That Billinge Lump?

So come on, all you kind and lovely people, what are your thoughts? What would you like to know more about? Which bits did you enjoy most and what were the bits you didn't like? One reviewer thought it was a bit boring in places. Did you? If so, which places? I need you to work with me if I'm going to do better next time!

Meanwhile, here's the first of the promised reviews. I'll reproduce them in the order they appeared on Amazon, and this is from the very lovely @BubblyNatz with whom I chat often on Twitter. It's a 5-star review posted on  20 Feb 2012 and entitled Sell The Pig - bugger!!!:


If you are an avid reader and an avid reader of true stories then you will love Sell the Pig! It is both lighthearted and heartfelt! The author regales you with her tales of her mother and brother, beloved dog and touches on earlier and later parts of her life too! Which all in all leaves you wanting more.Please do give this book a go you won't regret it and like me will be urging the author to write more!


Thanks so much, Natz. So, everyone else, do you agree? Please leave your comments below. Thanks.

Book bloggers of the world unite!

If you're thinking of writing and self-publishing a book, be under no illusions. Writing it is the easy part. All the self marketing you need to do if you actually want to sell any copies is the real grunt.

Thankfully for writers, estate agents and various others, there are not yet any rules on either Facebook or Twitter that prevent you from shamelessly promoting your wares. But take care - people will soon jump all over you and say you're overdoing it.

It's actually ironic as often the ones who do are those who are guilty of tweeting each and every bodily function (if only I was kidding!), or sharing their particular passion with you in minute detail. Honestly, if I was remotely interested in snooker I would watch it myself. Therefore there is absolutely no need to describe to me each and every frame, or whatever they're called.

So huge heartfelt thanks to Sandra, of the book blog SS Book Fanatics, who has kindly given some room on her site for a mention of Sell the Pig. It's a blog by a book fanatic, for book fanatics.

Thanks to all of you who have bought and read Sell the Pig - I'm pleased to report sales are creeping up slowly and steadily. Got some lovely reviews too on the Amazon sites. The UK site currently has 26 x 5-star reviews and one 3-star. Bit light on the .com site  and the .fr site so please, particularly if you bought through either of those, do leave even just a few words to say whether or not you liked it.

Please be brutally frank. If you didn't like it, say so and say why, as I'm already churning round sequel ideas in what passes for my brain so any and all feedback is hugely helpful. What would you like to read more of in Book Two? What didn't interest you at all?

Come on guys, it's not often you get to collaborate with a book, so give me your feedback and I'll do my very best to do it justice.

Risk assessments - France v England. Vive la difference!

What was I saying about the weather? It's thundering, lightning and chucking it down once more! So time for a few more words on the blog, since there's no way I'm going out in this and the dogs, when asked, said something very impolite in French at the mere suggestion that they should.

Sell the Pig, of course, was the lead up to moving to France and brought us up to 2007. Those of you who follow me on Twitter and Facebook will know that I am still living in France but no longer at the pink house. I now have my own place and how that all came about will, I hope, form the basis of a sequel to Sell the Pig.

I've now been in France just over 5 years, which means I can start the long and complicated application process to become a French citizen, which I intend to do. When I was interviewed recently for an ex-pat article and asked what I missed most about UK, the only thing I could think of was Thornton's Brazil Nut Toffee!

One of the nice things about France - although, as usual, I can only speak about the little corner where I live, in the Auvergne - is that they have a much more relaxed and common sense attitude to 'Elf and Safety, far removed from the obsessive stuff I had to learn in UK when training in risk assessment and risk management.

Jill and I were struck, on our visit to the region together, by things like going into places to get a coffee and having to climb over trailing cables and vacuum cleaners to get to a table. It struck me as so funny I did a little post about it today on Facebook. So for the benefit of the many of you who are not on there, I thought I'd reproduce it here, just for fun.

And I say again, right at the outset "tongue firmly in cheek, absolutely no disrespect intended to anyone"

English Risk Assessment: in store cleaning during customer footfall.

Risks Identified: Trailing cables - trip hazard.Measures to implement: Place prominent yellow hazard signs at all possible approaches to the hazard by customers, including overhead in case of abseiling from the ceiling. Signs should be in all languages likely to be spoken by customers to the store, including all the principle languages of the EU. An audio version should be available for the visually impaired, as well as signage in Braille. The warning should also appear in pictogram form for unaccompanied children and in comic sans capitals for those with reading difficulties.

French Risk Assessment: in store cleaning during customer footfall.Risks Identified: None - customers should look where they're going and learn to pick their feet up.

On that little note and on this miserable wet evening, I shall leave you with a picture of what my usual evening view is like, looking across to the Chaine des Puys and the Puy de Dome. As usual, do please leave your comments, about Sell the Pig, about this post, about France, about Life, the Universe and Everything. I always try to reply as promptly as possible.

Moving to France - first views of the Pink House

If anyone's thinking of moving to France just for the weather, think again! Today is just like the weather we left behind in Wales, only with nicer scenery. It's cold, it keeps raining and hail-stoning, and the sun is nothing but a fleeting visitor.

Time to update the blog and probably high time you saw some pictures of the "pink house" as we saw it first, although it wasn't really pink at all, anywhere other than in the estate agent's online pictures!

"Both on paper and in the flesh, so to speak, this one looked very promising. According to the internet details, it had seven bedrooms and three bathrooms, was on three storeys and had a good-sized garden. We nicknamed it the pink house, as the photo showed the rendering as a pale rose pink, although in reality it was a lot paler and more washed out."

Our first view of "the pink house"

"They do warn house viewers to try to see past existing décor to what the place will look like once you've stamped your own mark on it. Sound advice. The decoration in the pink house was truly hideous. Very nineteen seventies. The sitting room had two very strong contrasting patterned wallpapers, which didn't go together, neither of which was very nice even in isolation and in unison presented a full frontal assault to the senses."

The retro sitting room

"But the layout was practically perfect for what we wanted. On the top floor was a bright, light three-bedroomed apartment with shower room and loo and some open space to create a small cooking and dining area. Ideal to let as B&Bs or a self-contained flat. It had very nice south-facing views, and the possibility to create a sunny roof terrace on top of the roof of the room below, which jutted out in front of it."

View from the top floor flat

And, Just because it's a very cold day today and there's still a lot of snow on the volcanic peaks all around, a view of what this part of France can look like in winter!

Don't forget, kind readers, I'm relying on you to tell me what photos you'd like to see. Hope you will enjoy these, will post some more on the next rainy day, which won't be too long, if the weather forecast is anything to go by! Do leave me your comments here, about the book, or the blog, or France, or Life, the Universe and Everything.

Not just any other family moving to France

It's a cold, wet, miserable day in the Auvergne.  Yes, we do get them. In fact overall our weather isn't that different to that of the UK, only more extreme - our hot is hotter, our cold is colder.  So I thought I'd go and rummage round in the attic for some more photos for you and I suddenly came over all nostalgic and found some family ones.  Not sure if they are what you want to see, but thought it might help you will picturing the family behind the move to France, before dementia, depressed dipsomania and downright dottiness set in.

As ever, I'm in your hands, dear readers, to know what you would like to see.  Do please let me know.

I thought it would be nice to start with one showing a relatively normal family scene, Mother, Father, Brother and me, with my brother's godfather, Fr Leo Rakale CR on a visit from Bulawayo, where my father had met him during his wartime service there.

"Mother certainly had her share of admirers. In fact she went out with the man Auntie Doris went on to marry, before her younger sister did. I have no idea why she waited so long nor eventually made the choice she did.

Recently, when age and dementia have removed inhibitions, Mother has taken to looking wistfully at her wedding photographs and saying: “That was the day. I wonder if I did the right thing?”. A sentiment I have certainly shared throughout most of my life."

Parents' wedding, April 1947 

"My father's job as a newspaper editor came with a heavy social engagement schedule. There were endless civic receptions, cheese and wine parties, film premiers and other such delights to attend, for which mother would put on her finest gowns. And they did make a handsome couple, it has to be said." 

Wilmslow Civic Ball 1962

"Mother was a real looker, with beautiful blonde hair so long she could sit on it, who surprisingly didn't marry until she was 30. Doris was the dizzy blonde who made the good marriage."  

Mother (left) already well into her 80s, with younger sister Doris

Mother (right) in 2004 with older sister Ethel in the lovely home in St Helens

Right, that's your lot, lovely readers.  Sorry the spacing went a bit funny, think I've now sussed what I did wrong and will do it better next time.  As ever, do please leave me some comments and request any pictures you would like to see.

Another wonderful review of Sell the Pig on The French Village Diaries

I always appreciate everyone who takes the time to leave their comments on Sell the Pig either here, on Amazon (where there are now 21 x 5-star reviews in total) or on their own blog or website. Reader feedback is so helpful in deciding whether it really is worthwhile bashing on with a sequel.

Don't forget to have your say, let me know what you thought about Sell the Pig, what photos you'd like to see here on the blog and what more detail you'd like in a sequel.  I always try to respond to each of you personally, and certainly to post the pictures you ask for - just ask Carl Legge!  He asked for the photos of the Lincolnshire grottage - I've done the befores, here are a few afters.

In the meantime, here's the link to the Sell the Pig review on The French Village Diaries .Thanks so much, Jacqui!

Back garden - after

Kitchen - after

Sitting room - after

My bedroom - after

Don't forget, you're in charge of this blog. Tell me what you'd like to see or to know and I shall post it. Thanks for reading!

Moving to France - why the Auvergne?

For those of you who have read Sell the Pig and wondered why the fascination with the Auvergne, I thought I'd include some illustrations to show its beauty. Surprisingly, my own collection of photos is too poor to do it justice, so I'll include some links to far better pictures than I have taken.

As I explained in the book: "And then there was a song buzzing round in the back of my mind. Those of you who may remember an advert for Dubonnet in, I think, the seventies, with the strapline “Dubonnet - way up there,” will know the one I mean. It was the hauntingly beautiful shepherd's song Bailero, from Canteloube's Songs of the Auvergne."

And for those who want to know what my brother looks like, here's a picture to show that he really did overcome his acrophobia and make it to the top of the Puy de Dome.

"We went for a run-out after that, westward to the Monts Dores then back via the Puy de Dôme and finally found the navette (shuttle bus) running, so took the white-knuckle ride to the summit for the incredible views.

The journey up certainly rattled my brother so he decided he couldn't possibly face the return journey on the navette. There is a pedestrian route up the Puy, an old mule track, but it brings you down to a car park a long walk from where we had left the hire car, near to the navette car park.

The direct route down to the navette car park is prohibited to pedestrians. The road is too narrow for more than one vehicle to pass at a time, so the navette drivers use what the French call talkie-walkies to synchronise their departures from either end, so they only meet whether there are designated passing places. And despite the steep gradient and plunging drop to the side, they rattle up and down as if they were in the Monte Carlo rally. Any pedestrian in their way would be toast, in very short order."

And here's an idea of what the Puy de Dome  looks like from the air - it's 1464m to the summit - and a side view. 

Do please let me know what else you would like to see photos of. Perhaps you might like to share which bit of Sell the Pig you find most interesting/amusing and I'll find some photos to go with it. Any and all comments always very gladly received and I always try to reply personally. Thanks for reading!

A book about moving to France

I know I said I wouldn't blog every day but here's a little bonus as I'm just off for a long weekend.

When I started this book blog, I was thinking of people who have already ready Sell the Pig, so they could leave their feedback and suggestions for a sequel. Then I realised that wasn't very fair on those who haven't read it. So I'll include a few excerpts on here to explain what the photos I post are all about.

Again, as Mother is so central to the book and is the reason behind its title, I thought you'd like to see some more photos of her.

"Then there's mother, now aged 89 and going through some glorious second childhood where she likes to say 'bum' and 'bugger' as often as possible." ......

'The fixation with bums is harder to explain. The other day when I visited the nursing home who are, allegedly, looking after her, I was most surprised to find her apparently absorbed in a rugby match on television, as she has never shown any interest at all in sports, particularly neither team games nor contact sports.

“Rugby, mother? You?” I asked.

“Yes,” she replied, without peeling her gaze away from the heaving flesh of the Australian pack as they went into a scrum. “Look at all those big fat bums".'